What is Anxiety?

"The time you wasted in your life worrying about things in your life that never happened." I do this so much as a mom.

I worry that things that happened to me, will happen to them or even worse…and somehow it seems I do this because I think it will help, right? Wrong, it won't help and it could potentially make things worse. Or just plague them with the anxiety I have. Do I think my thoughts have secret powers? Well according to the law of attraction they do, so I have to stop focusing on the things I don't want to happen and start thinking about all the things I do want to happen. I must also have faith in my kids strength and praise them for it. I am here to support them but not to live for them. They have their own lives and journeys. I want to enjoy every minute and this anxiety is robbing me of these precious years.

What are the steps we can take to decrease this anxiety? This is the question I keep asking myself and I feel stuck. I am not sure where to start. I know hobbies are key, they bring positive feelings which overpower the anxiousness. I also think diet and exercise increase energy during the day and help us get better sleep at night makes for happy people. All these uplifting feelings leave a person confident. A good attitude and outlook on life can make all the difference in the world.

Mostly, is anxiety a choice we make in our head? A switch we turn off and on. I'd like to learn to turn mine off most the time. I want to spend more time being silly and in the moment rather than feeling stuck in the land of "what if." So here is to taking initiative to get away from that and turning the switch off, because life is just too dang short to worry about all those things.

The little things

Sophie playing ball

It's the little things in life…like learning to use a spoon, learning to play ball, and swimming with cousins in the backyard. The sound of laughter is what I love most and what I need to focus on. I realize I need to laugh more. More often then not, I find myself thinking what I should be doing. What about stopping and smelling the roses? It's not till you get older, those sayings ring true and that one is one that needs reminding. Stop and enjoy the moments with our children now. Even the difficult times can be looked back on and make you laugh. Even if the day seems to be going bad, there is always time to stop and change your attitude. It is never too late. We can still try to smile, find some humor and laugh with our children.

How are you feeling today moms? How do you stay positive?

*Calling a friend to vent
*Positive self-talk
*Mommy time-out (maybe a bath or some tea with that!)
*Realizing that you cannot fix everything and just being there in the moment for your children.

Article of the Day: http://www.ahaparenting.com/_blog/Parenting_Blog/post/How_To__stop_yelling_at_kids/
I really liked all the techniques the author gives for ways to calm yourself. She gives a 10 step plan which is very clear and made me think, why didn't I try that sooner?!

Ch, Ch, Changes...

The other day my son had a traumatic experience at the dentist office and since then I've been dealing with mom guilt. Well, that is a whole other issue. However, his cousins are in town and he got to go to Legoland today. Lucky kid!

All of the sudden, I find myself with just one kid today. This is unusual and I have found myself thinking, what should I do? I never have a WHOLE day, just me and her. A one year old is pretty easy since they don't argue yet so the opportunities of the day are endless, until nap time.

Anyway, then I start thinking about how soon he will be gone all day in Kindergarten and it will always be just me and her. My stomach turns just thinking about it. This is all new territory. I love her and I am so excited to bond in that way and give her this new attention but I am so used to having my 5 year old son around. Why am I thinking so much anyway? Ahhh…does it ever stop?! Does someone want to tell me how to tame your mom anxiety and tell it to shut up? Deep breathes and a trip to the beach, here we come!

Welcome

I remember finding out I was pregnant, we were both scared and overwhelmed by joy. I knew life was never going to be the same. From that moment on, I decided I had to do this right. I had to be the best mother ever. Little did I realize, there was no way to perfect parenting. There was hardly time for a shower. I isolated myself in the beginning, immersed in baby land. It was so wonderful; however, soon I looked around and I was alone, just me and my baby. I had pushed everyone else away. I wanted help but I didn't know how to ask. I felt judged by everyone, especially other mothers. My point of this blog is to reach out to other mothers and establish an online community where we feel comfortable to ask questions or simply share our stories. Many of us suffer from some sort of baby blues, and many cannot afford the help of a professional mental health provider. Although, I am not here try to compensate for a professional, I am hoping to help unite other mothers. I want to reestablish that sense of community because I do believe it takes a village. For most mothers, the internet is the only sense of freedom and connection to the outside world. I remember googling everything the first five years, and I found so many other mothers were out there doing the very same thing. It feels good to know, we are all on the same page. Right here, right now.